The Gargoyle has the best view: and other nice things about watchers

December 21, 2011

I have this friend, or acquaintance… friendly acquaintance, we’ll go with that. 

On occasion I send this person casual “checking in” emails - lighthearted but wanting them to know I’m around, and that I see.   

I worry often about them, because they are easily shrouded in humor, work product, good looks and affability; I worry because I think that people are so caught up in this person’s well-honed camouflage that they won’t notice fingers bleeding from hanging on so hard, that people will be so busy being charmed that they won’t notice if this person slips over the edge;

Later people would say ” seemed fine last time we hung out” so I watch this person, Which they don’t love but i do it still.

 I pay attention, because they were brought to mine, the first time in a corner at a bar at the birthday party of a friend seeking refuge from would-be lovers, well wishers, and people who just want, want.

I am compelled to worry about someone I rarely see, because they slide into my head. I’ve never asked why i do it, i just do. 

  The artist only ever depicts herself. 

I never noticed that I was in that corner, at same said party also looking to hide.

 I do things tornado style, a calculated misdirection, even worrying about other people, hiding in plain sight. 

Today a friend checked on me, just to make sure I don’t just “seem fine”  -

a casual lighthearted email letting me know he was around